Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
MIDGETS
????
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
