so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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