apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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