Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize