Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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