I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
