we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Go christen that room with your naked body.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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