Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
