You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I had to cum in my sink.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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