You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
