The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize