i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
