honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
