nut hugger
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
