she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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