Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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