ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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