After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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