This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
