For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
