The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
