The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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