I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
