so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Alive.
So much puke
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
