I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
