apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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