bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just google imaged poop.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Help. Why am I so naked?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize