Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
