I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
