Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
