Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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