And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
