you're like a bully in the Christmas story
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
