I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
