i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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