Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
