I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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