remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
