I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Panties = found
Randomize
