Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
