Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
