I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
