I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
