I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
