Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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