She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
