I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
