yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Will exercising make me less horny?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
