Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
