YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
