hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
