Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
