im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
