using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
