I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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