I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
