the condom got lost in my hair
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
