U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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