dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
