I cockslap morals
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
