so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
