I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
