halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i dont even know how to be here
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
