It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
