i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
