So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
