I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
