Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
